teh blonde....

[JIMINATOR]

A blonde woman named Alexis finds herself in dire trouble Her business has
gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray: "God please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Alexis again prays: "God, please let me win the Lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going
to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and Alexis still has no luck.

Once again, she prays:."My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my
business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often
ask you for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just
let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Alexis
is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "Alexis, work with Me on
this: Buy a ticket!"

[JIMINATOR]

A blind man enters a Women's Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things:

The bartender is a blonde woman.
The bouncer is a blonde woman.
I'm a 6 foot tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

[Die Hard]

If you're (not your) not in, you can't win.

:funny: Nice one Jim.

[Pure_Evil]

:thumbs: :thumbs:

:hmmm: blonde named Alexis... go figure :P

[noldhor]

:funny:

[Mad Fox]

:rofl: those were pretty good

[Free Styler]

not bad.:)

[[SMS]Deryl]

The second one has several variants and I've heard the first one a few times too...I should try my hand at joke threads too...

[Sacrifice]

good ones :D

[Alexis SC430]

Why is her name Alexis? :confused:

[Alexis SC430]

What are you trying to say?!

[Sexyjess]

rofl....