Sauron
12-06-2007, 11:18 PM
enjoy :
Drive thru cash machine
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling
customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using
this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have
been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align
car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger
seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and
hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due
to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written
on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place
cash inside.
17. Write deposit amount in check register and place
receipt in back of Cheque Book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place
card into the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male
driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Drive thru cash machine
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling
customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using
this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have
been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align
car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger
seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and
hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due
to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written
on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place
cash inside.
17. Write deposit amount in check register and place
receipt in back of Cheque Book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place
card into the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male
driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.